1 December 2006
A couple of updates from me. Firstly, where the TB check is concerned, only Rebecca and my mom has no reaction to the test. However, they still have to go back to take the test again as the TB bacteria take some time to grow. CM has started taking the preventive medication. John and Li-Ann are having some runny nose n phlegm so they’ll start the medication only when they are well. I pray that God will protect the children from any serious side effects when they are taking the medication. I continue to pray that my mom and Rebecca will have negative reactions to the subsequent tests. From all that I’ve read and understood from the doctors and nurses, it seems that the TB bacteria, just like cancerous cells, is rather common. However, if the immune system is strong, it can fight the bacteria and the person will remain well. I also understand that a person can have the TB germs but he/she is not infectious. The real purpose of my family taking the preventive medication is just that – preventive; they don’t want any complications later on. Generally doctors tend to over treat than under treat. They may need to take the medication for about 6 months.
For me, I’m doing fine. I feel more normal for the past week. At least I am thinking about eating more healthy food and am not craving for spicy and oily stuff anymore. I figured it may be only happen for the first 1-2 weeks. I can eat and sleep, although there are times that I don’t rest as well. The most recent concern is over this HAIR issue. I noticed more hair falling off since the beginning of this week. No, no, not that I’m worried I’ll be bald or anything. Just that I am very tired clearing up the hair. Actually I wish they’ll drop quickly so I don’t have to bother with having hair dropping all over. In fact hubby suggested shaving it off. That’s a good one but I’m not sure if I have the courage. Thankfully, that aunty who has finished her chemotherapy told me to wear a holely shower cap or a cloth cap to keep the hair in. That was an excellent tip!!! So much so that I didn’t even feel like taking off the shower cap while sleeping. I could take as long as 5mins just picking up the on my bed and pillow. So I’ve been magic cleaning and sweeping up hair and more hair. I think two-thirds of my hair is gone and I could have a shiny head by Sunday. Anyhow I also had tried making a cloth cap for myself. It’s tough man!!! Just like it’s tough to wrap a round present. I was hoping my aunty, who is an excellent seamstress is around. And you know what? God must have heard me wishing that in my head. She came to visit her daughter here in Singapore and she called my mom today. And she could make a breathable cap for me to wear at home. PTL!!!! Meanwhile I’ll just make do with my shower cap or even use Li-Ann’s nappies – at least that’s thin and breathable.
A friend wondered if I’m devastated at the hair loss. Maybe, before I start my treatment. But my pastor reminded me that God knows if I should keep my hair or I need a new head of baby fine hair, even finer than Li-Ann’s. Plus with no hair, I can save on combing my hair, washing my hair, and so save on shampoo, going for haircuts, and I also don’t have to worry about other body hair as well. I’m looking forward to NEW hair 😉 Right now, it’s to dress my head creatively. I’ve got some hats and a friend has already given me one as a gift. Now it’s my chance to use them. The other thing I was reminded is that this is temporary and it’s more important that I can eat and rest and be healthy during this period of treatment. In fact I’m very thankful that I got my period this week. The doctor told me that there is a 50% chance of menopause. So I’ll rather lose all my hair and still have regular periods. Thank God!!!!
I’m thankful for friends who have offered to help cook and even to get me meals. Thank you. On those days when we are not able to cook, I’ll call you. A couple of friends and even a good friend’s mom have called to offer their help to look after the children. Thank you so much 🙂 I’m also thankful for a friend, from my previous cell group, who sent me a very timely sms and offered me transport (and he said he’ll make himself available if I need help) to the NCC for my treatment. He’ll send me to NCC on Monday for my next chemo treatment. It’s very sweet of him to offer help. God has definitely sent him as earlier that day my mom just said she wanted to send me there but I would rather she focus on taking care of the children. I shared this good news with her and she realised that God is taking care of my needs. God is also meeting my mom’s needs too. An ex-colleague will be with me during the treatment and she will send me home and be with me till hubby comes home. God is SO GOOD 🙂
For these few weeks, Chee Meng probably will have dinners here and there and short trips overseas for meetings. I was rather annoyed at all the dinners he has to go to, especially at a time where I wish him to be around more, not only for me but also for the children. However, I realise the Lord is teaching me to rely on Him to meet ALL my needs, as He first taught me this when John was about 2 months old and Chee Meng had to be away for 2 months for training. I remember those 2 months were tough but I learnt many things as a stay home mom. As I do my devotion, I read about the church in Laodicea in Revelation.
14And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God;
15I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot.
16So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
17Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked:
18I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see.
19As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
20Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
21To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.
22He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.
He also impressed upon my heart that I have real needs. I have to be honest that I have needs and to ask God to meet my needs. Just as the Laodicean church thought they were rich and had need of nothing (v17), I had thought that I am independent. But I’m deceiving myself. I’m so thankful that Christ did not give up on the Laodicean church and gave them His prescription in v 18. I thank God He’s not done with me yet. I pray that my estimation of myself in Christ will always be accurate.
* Li-Ann is almost 10kg!! That calls for another celebration 😀 Hurray!!!!
* Li-Ann extra artery is still thankfully the same size but has not closed. She will be reviewed in a year’s time.
* The developmental psychologist thought Li-Ann is doing well and will see her in 6 months.
* Friends and family have been praying and a few have informed me about TB Joshua’s healing meetings in Singapore. Thank you for remembering me. I am aware but was unable to go because of the crowd. A friend sent in my prayer requests to his team and some of them came to visit me and also to pray for me.
* A very good friend assured me that if she and her family were here, and if health permits, they would come by and visit and are not put off by this TB thingy. Thank you so much for the friendship and the assurance of acceptance.
A few more prayer requests:
* God will see me through my 2nd chemo treatment next Monday and I’ll look to Him alone.
* God will give me wisdom to know how to manage during the first week when I may be more tired.
* Good health for my parents and also for the family, especially the children as they are still having some phlegm and runny nose.
* God to provide extra strength for Chee Meng and for my mom.
* The doctor will allow me to do my 3rd chemo after Christmas. According to schedule, after 4 Dec, the 3rd chemo is on 25 Dec. I hope to negotiate for a day after that and not before as hubby is on leave for a week after Christmas.
* The doctor will write good referral letters for me to get the subsidies.
* Insurance claims will be sped up.
Thank you for praying. More updates next week when I get my fingers on my computer 🙂