Ever since Li-Ann was born, I’ve been reading up and teaching my older 2 about their sister – how they should view their sister and handle verbal or non-verbal views of their sister. It’s a constant teaching as all of them are growing up and maturing. I find that I have to explain many things as simply as I can because, until they are more able, bombastic terms will just fly past them. My husband and I often assure them of our love for each of them and also explain that we love them differently because they are different. I frequently discourage them from comparing among themselves and bicker about stuff. Afterall, they are at different stages of growth with different needs. Sometimes, I suggest to them that if they want to be ‘babied’ and fed, then perhaps they should return to wearing diapers or it’s wonderful that they can read and draw so well and Li-Ann is still learning etc.
Below are some things I tell my older two:
-Love your sister and see your sister as a blessing and a unique individual made by God (just like you), who makes no mistakes.
-See your sister as the same as you, who likes to play and have fun and gets upset and cries at times too.
-Love/forgive your sister because she will learn to love/forgive you too. Do to others what you have them do unto you.
-Help/teach/encourage your sister as we all need help in different ways, just like you need help when you were her age too. She will learn/improve and be able to play or help you when she’s older.
-Speak nicely and kindly to your sister. Ask her permission if you want something from her and not take away her things. While she does not retaliate now, she may do so in the future, following your bad example
-Pray for your sister’s growth and relationship with you.